Life in the country

Having grown up a city boy, life in the country is still somewhat of an adventure for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love it out here, I don’t think I could ever move back “in town” , but sometimes there are things out here that just plain freak me out. Rattlesnakes, giant spiders, horse poop…it’s all out here.

Last night I was on my way to the barn to start clearing some space to put the hay for the winter when it hit me all of sudden…it’s really dark out here. Scary dark out here. I stopped walking and started thinking...really fast...

"Why isn’t the moon up yet?" "Why didn’t I bring a flashlight?" "What is that noise in the bushes?"

I started getting really nervous as I thought about mountain lions hiding in the shadows waiting to attack.

"Could I survive?" "I would probably keep my wits about me, but could I hold it off long enough to make it to the barn to get a weapon?" "Shoot, I’d probably be able to take a mountain lion…I AM pretty tough (muscles flexing)." "How long would it be before Vicki missed me?" "Those bike riders that got attacked weren't found for days." "Maybe I should go back up to the house…I don’t really need to do the barn tonight." "Oh, Praise Him (sung exactly like David Crowder)." I finally psyched myself up and made it to the barn, turned on the light and regained my confidence. Whew

I went to work cleaning up and wasn’t in the barn for two minutes before a bat started circling around the light! I had never been this close to a bat before, and oddly enough it wasn't scary. It was actually kind of cool. So I did what any red blooded American man would do…I grabbed my cell phone and called my wife! “Vicki, there is a bat dive bombing me in the barn! How cool is that? What? No, that’s all I called for. Bye” Wait a second, I thought, THERE IS A BAT DIVE BOMBING ME!! Bats carry rabies and turn people into vampires! What if it bit me?!! I know they can get tangled in peoples hair, (I know, I know…I don’t have to worry about the hair). But to get tangled in peoples hair, they have to land on people, and WHAT IF IT BIT ME? I wished I’d brought my slingshot with me.

That's pretty much the end of the story. I decided that I’d had enough adventure for one night, and I really had to get up early, so I made a hasty retreat to the safety of my house. Maybe next time I'll bring a little protection with me...Samantha is always up for a little adventure. :-)